Bike Gods are mad at me

My bike was stolen exactly 3 weeks ago. This morning, my bike was there. So that's ok. I ride it 10 meters, the chain falls off, and gets stuck and tangled in the gears. I try all known methods to take it out, but it's really stuck. My hands are dirty, and I'm pissed off. If anyone gets in my way during the next hour, Imma smoke them. I'm cooled off now though.